In Order To Launch You May Have To End Something
“In many contexts, until we let go of what is not good, we will never find something that is good. The lesson: good cannot begin until bad ends.” Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud
Today’s post is a private conversation from one service provider to another. You may be a virtual assistant, graphics designer, coach, author, or mentor. At some point you may have felt those you served undervalued what you do and you’re left with some tough decisions.
Most recently I’ve been put in this place. Well I won’t say recently, it has just come to a point where an ending was necessary.
It terrified me to think that my highest paying client would have to be let go.
It was on a training call for VAs and CEOs that my mentor and her assistant co-hosted. On this call, as they discussed the different sides of the coin and how it’s really a partnership and how you both must respect one another mutually that it really brought to light the conditions I’d put myself under. I had allowed someone to cross all boundaries with me and put up with it for the sake of money.
At what point do you draw the line?
If I were in a corporate setting and being sexually harassed or mistreated because of my race, I would not stand for it and it would immediately be reported.
But was does a business owner do. How does a solopreneur handle being mistreated by a client when they need the money?
It’s easy to say, yeah I wouldn’t put up with that. Not so easy to say when you’re in the situation.
As my business grew and I begin to learn more and more who Virtual Hired Hand is and what exactly we’d provide for our clients, behind the scenes I was being misused.
I’ve had clients who wanted me to be available to pick up the phone simply because they called. It’s not possible otherwise I’d never complete any projects.
What I do is no different than what you do. It takes concentration and focus. And besides I love my work and I love being alone uninterrupted working.
Often times, I’ll sit in my car and do work because it’s the quietest place aside from the bathroom to get things done.
For some reason my car is the one place my mind is able to completely relax and be most creative. You see in the house there’s so much I could be doing, that even though no one may be talking, my laundry speaks, the papers on my desk speak, and any unfinished chores all speak to me.
If you’re an organizing junkie, you’re probably thinking, well clean it up, organize it. Not so simple for someone who draws a plan before rearranging furniture in her bedroom or has to visualize the clean before it’s actually done. Yeah, that’s me, but I love me and I’ve decided to no longer be undervalued or mistreated by anyone. So I gave a 30 day notice to my biggest client and I’m petrified. And guess what?
God checked me so quick, I had to expose myself. He told me, you’re more dependent on them than you are on me.
You see I wouldn’t have realized that had I not taken action. I would still be on pins and needles and hesitating to check email because of what I didn’t want to see at the end of my business day.
I’ve learned to shut it off and boundaries are a must.
As a service provider it’s difficult to know when and where you should cut things off. Each day I learn more and more when that should happen.
Did I just completely unload on you? Probably so. However, I pray my transparency will release you from whatever it is you’re going through.
And just know there’s something even great coming. You see we’re focusing more on actually servicing clients as opposed to being doers of tasks.
Yes all task get done, however we have so much more to offer. The sad part is even though my website and free offer are at the bottom of my signature to some people I’ll still be the help. I’m learning everyday how to identify those personalities and excuse them before we even get started.
If you provide a service and aren’t sure the signs of when to let someone go here they are.
When is it time to say goodbye?
- When you’re being disrespected.
- When your time is not valued.
- When you’ve done all you can to correct a situation.
- When you find yourself tensing up before you even check email because of what might be in your inbox.
And if you already know you should let them go and are concerned about finances or what will they think, consider this. What will
things look like when you’re able to free yourself. I was able to see myself writing and creating more than I’ve ever done in the last 3 years.
I was able to feel confident in the specialty that I provide. My value was too tied up into how I was being treated and the only way to kill that dragon is to slay it.
“Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.
In business, endings often are absolute necessities for a turnaround or for growth to occur. Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud
If this is something you’ve been struggling with or you’ve mishandled someone, we’re all human. And in that we’re all worthy.
Now it’s your turn please share how something you ended turned out to be the best decision you could have made.
I get my best ideas in the car and especially on long distance car rides. Thanks so much for pouring your heart into this post. Absolutely beautiful!
Thanks Larissa! I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. I have not looked back since making this decision and am actually responding to you from the car;)
You said a mouthful. Great article.
Wow:) thanks so much Richard!
Sooo true! Boundaries are absolutely necessary!
Amazing how you feel renewed when you finally set them.
Thanks a lot for sharing this with others. There are many people in need to hear it and act!
My pleasure Solvita:)
Great article Tiffany! Thank so much for the reminder! It was extremely encouraging to ready 🙂
Thanks so much Jennifer!
It seems like doing what is good for your own well being would be easy but it isn’t…it’s hard. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this very important topic. I agree with you 100%. When you are dreading an e-mail…it’s time to get out!
Hi-5 to that Michelle! I didn’t realize how important until after it was done. I love how God can use us any situation regardless of whether we understand it or not.
Wow, great article. You opened your heart. We are in the same boat, and it is difficult to cut those ties, especially when there is a pay cheque attached to it. But the line “In business, endings often are absolute necessities for a turnaround or for growth to occur” resonated with me too. Thanks for sharing this, very encouraging. And I loved how everything speaks when no one is speaking. So true! Never thought of going to the car. I just get up earlier & earlier for that quiet time. Hugs
Thanks so much Elvie! Hugs back at you! I’m amazed at how many people are facing this very thing right now. Wow!
Great info to us and insights for yourself. great remnder to trust God more to provide for us than for us to do it all ourselves.
Exactly! Thanks so much Pat!
Keep up the great work! Your post is right on, and you will have grown because of your decision.
Thanks so, so much AJ!
In massage school, we talk a lot about creating boundaries. It’s a sensitive profession as it is — add in the negative preconceptions people have, and we fight an up-hill battle to be respected as professionals. One classmate refuses to book people who call him and ask about “happy endings,” simply because he doesn’t need to deal with the energy that one question brings. Even our teachers have had to deal with inappropriate clients — the solution is usually to “forget” to rebook them.
I haven’t ended anything interesting yet, but I’ll let you know when I do. 🙂
Oh that is funny Bethany! My massage therapist always says I have such great energy. I guess that is extremely important considering the closeness required. Yes, definitely keep me posted:)